A Posteriori

There are many conventions and standards that have been adopted in various procedures, processes and mechanisms due to historical reasons that no longer make any sense. One example is the use of the QWERTY keyboard layout, despite the superiority of its seldom-used Dvorak alternative The Intel x86 architecture is still the most widely used PC and low-medium server architecture, despite that architecture dating back to the late 70’s and superior architectures, like Alpha or Sparc, that are far less common.

Another stupid convention is one used by English-speaking Canadians. It’s the use of French-language terms to differentiate among people whose first language is English, French, or another language. If you’re American, British, Australian, or from some other English-speaking country, chances are you don’t have a clue what the words “anglophone”, “francophone”, and “allophone” mean. Here’s a brief primer:

Anglophone A person whose first language (and presumably mother tongue) is English.
Francophone A person whose first language (and presumably mother tongue) is French.
Allophone A person whose first language (and presumably mother tongue) is neither English or French.

This vocabulary is taken straight from the French language. As an “anglophone”, it’s really not my place to criticize those “francophones”, nor their linguistic conventions, since French is only my second language, and one that I’ve not quite mastered. However, as somebody who’s very particular about the use of his first language, that is, Canadian English, I find it absolutely idiotic that we’ve chosen to use this limited vocabulary.

For instance, how am I supposed to distinguish between someone whose first language is Spanish and someone whose first language is Italian. Oooops! They’re both “allophones”.

Furthermore, how the hell am I supposed to communicate with the rest of the English-speaking world when they don’t know what in blazes I’m talking about when I used the words “anglophone” or “francophone”.

Pardon me for being so blunt, but this is retarded!

I say we adopt the same convention as the British, that is:

“Anglophone” = “English-speaker”
“Francophone” = “French-speaker”

A person whose first language is Spanish is a “Spanish-speaker”. A person whose first language is Italian is an “Italian-speaker”.

Doesn’t this make much more sense?

Now who do I need to talk to to submit this enhancement to the Canadian English specification?